Birthday On The River Kwai

Kanchanaburi next then.

Easy for you to say.

Headed back on the train south from Chiang Mai. Left just before 3 in the afternoon. Wasn't getting to Bangkok till half 5 in the morning so still had a bed.
Met Clare from Milton Keynes, who had the seat opposite me and her two friends were in the seats behind. Bon was a Thai guy and I never did get the other girls name.
Wayne?

I seem to meet people in Thailand when I am on the trains or walking about. Not so much in the guest houses, as they ain't like the hostels in other countries, where people mix more.
Clare had been living in Bangkok for three years so she knew the place pretty well, and she did attempt to teach me some basic Thai, which I have completely forgotten now.

Didn't take long for the beer bucket man to come round and for us to get involved. Should have got more money out as mine was gone after three rounds. Not to worry, Clare kept buying the booze.

Joined by a couple of monks opposite then. One spoke perfect English so he didn't stop chatting to me, telling me what each town we were passing was called, and how long he'd been a monk. He said we would be going in a big cave soon and it would be amazing.
Well it was just a long tunnel, but I humoured him, and used my amazed face.
Monks don't get out much.

Health and safety doesn't seem to be overly popular in Thailand. When anyone wanted to smoke, they just opened one of the outside doors and sat with their feet dangling as we flew along at top speed.

The monk started telling me how is father was blown up in the shower in Vietnam. It must be British sick humour but I nearly burst out laughing in his face, and I could sense a smirk from Clare.
He started reconstructing the scene. Pretending to wash his hair in a shower, and then going 'boom.' Head and shoulders were probably in different rooms after that.
Shouldn't laugh.
He has invited us to meditate with him for 10 days. Apparently there is no talking, very little food, and not much of anything else.
Sod that.

Did try some crisps that Clare had, that either turn your tongue green or blue. Mine seem to go blue. Those crisps have got to be really good for you!

When everyone started retiring to their beds, we found the restaurant car and carried on our booze fest there till last orders at 11.
Did manage to get some sleep then until we were woken up at 5 as we approached Bangkok.
Said my goodbyes to yet more people met on the road, and grabbed a tuk-tuk.

Had to get to another train station in Bangkok to get to Kanchanaburi. This city was just as hectic at half 5 in the morning as rush hour. Once again laughing my bonce off as we tore through the streets, bouncing around in the back.
That woke me up.

My train left for Kanchanaburi at quarter to 8 and it was another couple of hours there. Kept dropping off and dribbling on myself.
Was heading for the Death Railway.
Built by the thousands of POWs during the war for the Japanese, and made very famous by the Bridge on the River Kwai.
Was picked up from the station by yet another form of transport. A bloke on a bicycle.
Poor sod. He was only a small bloke, as they are in these parts. By the time my massive backpack and me were sat in the back he was struggling big style. Lucky there weren't any hills as he would have had no chance. I could have got out and walked faster.

So we crawled up to some lodgings. He'd got quite a sweat on by then. Fair do's he waited for me while I checked for vacancies. The first one was full, so the poor git took me to another. A very nice looking place right on the River Kwai.
And that's where I ended up, right on the River Kwai. The only room he had was floating at the back of the hotel. A house boat sort of thing. Nice though. Might even have a change of scenery when I wake up, if someone unties the rope.

So after seeing all the horrible things the Germans did in the war, when we were in Berlin, it was time to see how nasty the Japanese were over here.
As expected they were cruel little bastards.
Visited the massive war cemetery for all the allied soldiers who died constructing the railway. Most were younger than me.
Row after row of headstones.
They look after it perfectly though.
And would you believe it, up turned a massive tour bus, and spilled a load of Japanese camera wielding gaupers out.
Cheeky.

Big museum nearby too, telling the story of the horrific goings on. Cheers you up no end.
Wasn't so nice to be British in these parts then. Wasn't that long ago really.

Dined later at the Jolly Frog. Asked the waiter to recommend something spicy.
Wow he didn't disappoint. Nearly blew my head off. Lovely though. I managed to eat it all. Had to guess where my plate was, cause my eyes were streaming after a few mouthfuls.
Did feel like someone had tried to remove the inside of my mouth with a flame thrower, and I ordered an ice cream for afters to quell the inferno.
Try that again though.

An interesting but good nights kip. The floating room didn't rock, as not exactly the high seas.
Paul McCartney would have been proud of the frog chorus that piped up though.
Bloody racket.
All sorts of funny noises. I suppose I am on the edge of a jungle.
Woke up about seven then to the strains of a Thai popstar crooning across the water. Massive songs blasting out. Not really sure the purpose of that but that went off in time for the bombs about eight.
Well. They sounded like bombs. Massive explosions in the distant.
I thought Rambo must be in town.
Thought I could hear machine gun fire too, but that might have been tuk-tuks.
Who knows what all that noise was about either. Could ask someone, but it took me half hour to order a strawberry milkshake earlier, so can't be arsed.
The town hasn't been evacuated, so can't be too serious.

So for a birthday treat it was off to the Bridge on the River Kwai. About a fifteen minute walk from my floating abode.
Surrounded by tacky markets they were obviously making the most of all the tourists. As per usual with these landmarks, when the bridge came into sight, I thought, that's a bit small.
Looked like the right one though. Most of the original built by the poor wretches, tortured by the Japs, was blown up near the end of the war. I think most of those wretches were made to stand on it when the planes bombed it. Stinkin Japs.
However they re-built it and I had a ride over on the train. Also walked over it later. No safety rails, and massive gaps down to the Kwai, but that just added to the fun.
And yes, the train was full of camera wielding, laughing Japs. Cheeky shameless sods ain't they. I'm sure if it was the Welsh who had treated the POWs like absolute scum, and starved and tortured most of them to death, I wouldn't go near the place, let alone take pictures, and giggle like a bastard.
I gave the bird in the background of a few of their pics so I hope they got the message the little yellow nutters.

Don't really remember the film so will have to watch it again. I do know it had Obi Wan Kanobi in it, they whistled that song about Hitler having a mono testicular situation, and they actually filmed it in Sri Lanka, not at the real place here. Maybe I won't bother.

Timed by birthday just right in Thailand. There is an alcohol ban all weekend cause of some elections. Bastard face!
Got a curry in anyway. Felt like burning my head off some more so tried Ali Bongos. Ordered his fiery vindaloo, but it was no match for last nights gob burner.
Showing premier league footy live all evening then so what more could I want.
Well, a large bottle of Chang would have been nice, but I made do with coffee.