Chiang Mai

Day 145

Well, that's Bangkok for now anyway.
Uh, yeah.
Interesting place.
Head back there I reckon.

Caught the night train to Chiang Mai and cracked open a beer the size of a wine bottle, for the price of a wine gum.

More importantly I had just managed to watch the new Rambo film that isn't even out in the cinemas yet, in a dodgy Bangkok bar.
It is, as expected, pretty shit, but I laughed a lot so was entertained. Fair do's its well gory. Limbs and guts going everywhere. Left nothing to the imagination.

The train (or at least my carriage) was full of British and Australian backpackers so the beers are flowing as usual. It doesn't help that this geezer just keeps coming round with a bucket full of Chang beer.
Surrounded in my folded down bed by two southern English sorts.
They do have accents like the secretary from Steve Coogan's Saxondale(maybe Essex or Kent), so not all good.
Tidy Aussie guy too who now lives in London. He has been travelling 6 days and has already lost his wallet in Dubai, and his ipod in a taxi.

As for the bathroom facilities.
Oh shit.
Just a massive hole onto the track.
I can handle that.
But, I timed going for a wee pretty badly.
We pulled up to a station just as I was about to go, but they don't seem to go for the frosted window in these parts.
In fact they don't bother with the window in these parts.
So I was poised, just as we crept up to an audience of several dozen on the platform (mainly women).

Busting I was too, but all I could do was stand there, until the bloody train moved.
Come on!
I'm sure they were all waiting for me to go.
Maybe that's why they were there, cause they weren't getting on the train.
The relief when we chugged away and cleared the station, and I could clear my bladder, cannot be described in mere mortal words.

Then the second test. Trying to brush my teeth without lodging the brush in either nostril.
The train felt like it was derailing on a constant basis so this was quite some achievement.

Fair do's though, the bed was cosy as hell. I was on a lower bunk with a big curtain pulled across, a little light, and comfy mattress and pillow. A bit like being in a coffin, but a bloody top of the range one like.

Woke up several times during the ride. Which is a good thing, cause it shows I managed to get to sleep.

Eventually arrived in Chiang Mai. And for the first time in my life there was a guy standing at the station with my name on a big card.
Should have taken a photo.
Managed to keep a straight face as I walked up to meet him.
Turns out he was waiting for another Mr. Simon Tuckett.

Not really, he was my ride to the hotel I had booked.
The Chiang Mai Gate Hotel. Very posh too. Up another notch on my Bangkok room, and just as cheap.

Trekking time then.
Up bright and early ready to be picked up for my adventure.
Kiki eventually turned up for me, and was joined by six others; a mixture of Dutch and Canadian French.
Had about an hours drive then north of Chiang Mai, and by this time I was firmly known as Mr.Simon.

Elephants first. They came with like a park bench on their backs to ride, but these only held two people, and there were seven of us.
Therefore I volunteered to ride one of the beasts, shotgun.
This basically meant sitting on his head, with nothing to hold on to. So I tucked my legs behind his ears, and used my basic horseriding skills to grip onto his skull with my thighs.
No sooner had I got 'comfy' than his trunk was in my face after some goodies. I had to watch where his snout was heading, and was luckily armed with bananas to keep him happy.

We plodded on then through the undergrowth, the Canadians sitting behind me as I drove. It wouldn't last long till the nosy trunk returned. Like something out of War of the Worlds, it would curl up in front of me and 'watch' me with its two nostrils, demanding a nana or else. Well, I had a big bunch to go through, so he got more than his fill.
The jungle course went on and on, and I did have to hold on pretty tight on some steep up and down hill bits. He didn't help when he would decided to turn his head, so I would tap him on the nonce, informing him he should keeps eyes to the front, otherwise I was gonna go flying. He was a very good boy and a nana always helped.

Got round safe then and completely out of bananas. Was sad to leave him, but they wouldn't let me keep him. Could have used him to see the rest of Thailand.
But, we shook trunks and went our separate ways. He'll never forget me apparently.

Rafting next on some big bamboo's tied together. Not exactly white water but got a bit wet all the same.
Not as wet as our driver at the front though with the big pole. He tried to 'rock the boat' to make us fall in. He obviously hadn't seen my great surfing based balancing expertise.
He needs a few lessons though, as he went flying in himself, much to my amusement.
Loser.

So with only a couple of wet bits it was off for lunch. Served from a scummy shack, the nosh was amazing. Loads of it too.
A bit of trekking then. Saw some traditional tribes who tried to sell us some tat. Mainly scarves for some reason. Just what I needed in 32 degree heat.
Got to the waterfall then, where we could have had a swim, but the water was a bit nippy.

Through another traditional village on the way back. Lots of dogs about in this one, and all of a sudden I was surrounded by about 7 puppies.
They must have caught a whiff of my socks. They decided to follow me all the way back to our van, which was a good 20 minute walk. Their mum must need a bath if she niffs anything like my socks.

A good days outing then. Well worn out afterwards.
Marvellous.

The next day I decided to investigate Chiang Mai itself. An ancient walled city, surrounded by a road of constant insane traffic. I had my Sri Lankan road crossing skills to fall back on, which basically mean you just walk out in front of something and they stop.
Has worked fine so far.
So a good stoll around. Lots of temples, and cheap places to scoff and booze.
A lot quieter than Bangkok, as its a lot smaller, but in both cities I have had blokes walk past me in the street and say,
'You are lucky man.'
They don't stop or seem to want anything, and my flies weren't undone so very strange.
Nice though.
The first guy that said it was an Indian guy with a turban.
'You are lucky man'
'Thanks butt!'
As I was a few metres down the street, he then shouted after me in a very strong Indian accent,
'And so's your wife.'

Both amused and baffled me in equal amounts.
Better go and find a casino and put this luck to the test.
Might win myself an elephant.

Was approached by two young girls later on looking lost.
They asked me 'What was down there?' Meaning where I had just come from I hoped.
Not much I informed them, and then we got chatting. No sooner had I finished a couple of sentences they were asking me where I was from.
After informing them of my origin, they laughed with disbelief, as they were from Cardiff.
Well I never.

So we had a stroll and some drinks and they headed for the station where they were catching the next train to Bangkok.
They came on the bus to Chiang Mai and had money and stuff stolen, so I'll give that a miss.

Trying to watch some Thai Kick boxing, and there is some happening tomorrow evening, so will hang around and hopefully check that out.
Should be a laugh.